Are you still in touch with your high school friends? 20 to 30 years old is perhaps the strangest years of human life; Some people get married at this age, some have children, some start their businesses, and some continue their education. Sometimes all the members of an old friendship group get married, and only one person remains single. When you’re the only single person in a group, you may feel lonely or unable to connect with your friends like you used to. After getting married and starting a family, you should say goodbye to the single world and accept the changes. In this article, we will first explain whether you can join your married friends or not, then we will provide solutions to spend your free time as the only single person in a group.
When we are single, must we be present at the gatherings?
It’s great to hear the news of your friend’s marriage or pregnancy, but when you’re single and listen to it yourself, you may feel lonely, which is normal. If all your acquaintances and friends are married, you won’t feel good about being single, especially when you’re around them. The truth is that there is nothing wrong with being single, and you can enjoy life alone!
It is your choice to be with your married friends or not. If you enjoy being in their company, you can attend their events and spend time with them. But you can take other ways if you are tormented by attending these gatherings. For example, you can only date your friends some days and spend time alone with them.
The critical thing to note is that friendships become utterly different after your friends start a family. Now there is a person next to your friend who is his life partner, has shared experiences with him, and is going to have a child and a family together. Things change again when your friend has a baby. Parenting is complex and time-consuming, and because of this, parents have less time to spend with their friends.
If you had the exact expectations from your friends when you were single, you would be disappointed and may think you no longer care about them.
Benefits of maintaining friendships even after marriage
People need close friends even when they are in a romantic relationship. The most important benefits of maintaining friendly relations are:
- improving the state of mental health ;
- reducing feelings of loneliness;
- receiving emotional support ;
- Pursue common interests (you may not make time for the activities you are interested in alone, but when your friends are with you in these activities, you are more likely to attend them);
- increasing cognitive function in old age (preserving cognitive function dramatically reduces the risk of diseases such as Alzheimer’s and dementia );
- Improving physical health in old age.
According to research, friendships are vital for humans. Of course, balancing these relationships and the emotional ones is essential. Usually, those who spend most of their time with their friends are unsatisfied with their romantic partner.
What should we do when we are the only single people in the company of our friends?
In the previous episodes, we said people need their friends even after forming a family. We also noted that if you are the only single person among your friends, there is no problem. You can still enjoy socializing and your single life. In the following, we present solutions for interacting with married friends or spending free time single.
1. Join groups whose members are single
It’s good to keep in touch with old friends, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have the right to have other friends besides them. When your friends get married, they get busy and don’t have time for you like before. So you can join new groups, make new friends and spend time with them.
2. Make “reminiscence” appointments
Even if your old friends are married and have kids, they’ll still be happy to reminisce about the old days. So you can invite them now and then to events where members of your old group of friends get together. You can even make a regular schedule for these visits; For example, set aside one night every month to play with old friends.
3. Entertain yourself alone
Friendships have many advantages, but you should not avoid loneliness under the pretext of maintaining these relationships. There are probably many solo hobbies that you would like to try but haven’t made time for yet. So if you feel that your friends are involved in their personal lives, create a hobby for yourself and get busy with it. Don’t forget that alone time is just as crucial to your mental health as interacting with others.
According to research in 2021, during the Corona epidemic, people who maintained their leisure activities or hobbies had more prosperity.
4. Take time to know yourself and your expectations from the emotional relationship
It may be strange to you, but some people enter a romantic relationship just because they are the only single people they know! They think they have lost something, so that they may give up on any relationship. This is the worst thing you can do to get into a relationship!
Before entering into a romantic relationship, make sure that you have reached a good understanding of yourself and know what you expect from the relationship. Also, remind yourself that marriage is not about living a perfect life. You can be perfect on your own.
Only enter into an emotional relationship when you are ready for it.
5. Live the best version of your life
When you’re single, you probably say things like this to yourself:
- When I get married, I will travel to my favorite city.
- When I get married, I will go to my favorite job.
- I started watching movies and reading books with my wife when I married.
The reason is that many of us think that life will be better and more straightforward, and more dreamy after marriage, but what if it doesn’t? You are the only one responsible for achieving your desires, being happy, and doing what you love. Your future wife doesn’t need to take you by the hand and take you to the music school to enroll in your favorite instrument class. You can start learning music even when you are single.
Think about what you want to postpone until after marriage. Plan for them and do them now.
last word
When you are the only single person among your friends, you probably feel frustrated, and you may even think you are behind in your life plan because you are not married yet! The origin of these feelings is the misplaced expectations you have of yourself; Of course, others may also play a role in creating these expectations. Remember that life does not always go according to our plans, and marriage is a choice that is never too late! So instead of getting involved with unpleasant feelings, plan to spend your single life as best as possible.
This article has provided solutions for when you are the only single person with your friends. If you have such an experience, talk about your experiences in the comments section. Tell us how you coped with your best friends getting married and having children and whether or not you could maintain a close relationship with them.
