It is easier to destroy relationships than to keep them. Sometimes, without meaning to, we damage a relationship we’ve worked so hard to build. It doesn’t matter if it’s a friendship or a marital relationship; if we don’t notice the warning signs, our habits and desires can damage that relationship. Therefore, we must know these signs or alarms. In the following, we describe 17 examples of these signs.
1. betray
The reason for betrayal is not always fleeting desires. Sometimes cheating is a self-destructive behavior, a way to end the relationship and become the bad guy. A person may cheat knowingly or unknowingly to end the relationship. This is more likely when he feels he doesn’t deserve to be in a relationship or be loved. This issue often stems from the low self-esteem of people.
2. lack of commitment
A lack of duty occurs when a relationship reaches a point where it can be labeled as a spouse, friendship, or engagement, but the words are never spoken, and no more profound sense of commitment is created.
The relationship becomes insecure and uncertain if you are unwilling to commit long-term. This makes the other party feel they are not your life’s priority.
3. Having a grudge in the heart
Do you keep quiet and continue the relationship when the other person upsets you, even unintentionally? Resentment and resentment are common destructive behaviors in relationships. If this behavior is constant, it causes resentment and loss of trust. This issue often comes from insecurity and feelings of inferiority.
4. Passive aggression
This type of aggression is an indirect expression of anger or frustration, possibly caused by fear or discomfort from facing negative emotions. Passive aggression often leads to misunderstandings and confusion and may erode trust in the relationship.
5. Not appreciating the other party
Gratitude is one of the driving forces of a relationship that prolongs its life. Expressing gratitude to your spouse creates more intimacy. According to psychologists, expressing gratitude, however small, is a sign of respect and shows the other party that his positive actions in the relationship are valuable. If you deliberately or unconsciously withhold gratitude, you send the other person the message that you don’t appreciate them.
6. Not talking to the other party
Many self-destructive behaviors in a relationship are caused by not speaking clearly and openly with the other party or not speaking with him at all. Do not forget that the other party cannot read your mind. He is not always aware of your wishes and needs. This has nothing to do with how much the other party likes you, but it means that he is not a psychopath like you; he enjoys a free and transparent relationship.
7. mind reading
Have you ever had the other person do something you didn’t expect, and you get upset but don’t talk about it? This issue originates from your mind reading or jumping to conclusions.
Mind reading is when you make assumptions about another person’s feelings or assume they understand you without open and transparent dialogue. Mind reading creates big misunderstandings in relationships and is considered a form of emotional manipulation.
8. Having unrealistic expectations
Expecting your partner to meet unattainable standards is another red flag for relationship failure. For example, hoping the other person never makes mistakes is an example of unhealthy expectations that cause problems in the relationship. If your unreasonable and unrealistic expectations are unmet, you assume the relationship is not hot, and you should give it up.
9. Emotionally unavailable
Intimacy is another central pillar of stable and long-term relationships. For intimacy, you should not be defensive or guarded. If you are intimate and emotionally available, you allow the other person to share your feelings. Otherwise, establishing a deep connection becomes challenging for the other party. This ultimately leads to feelings of loneliness and lack of intimacy.
10. Disrespectful behavior
Sometimes self-destructive behaviors are abusive relationships. Some of these disrespectful behaviors are:
- Overcoming
- Putting up a wall in the relationship means that you keep silent and don’t care about the words of the other party;
- Ignoring relationship boundaries;
- manipulation and subjugation of another;
- giving an ultimatum;
- not accepting responsibility;
- physical violence
11. Always playing the victim
You have to do things you never did before to save the relationship, including:
- Getting out of your mental safe zone and meeting others;
- not going out with friends and taking care of children;
- not buying a lovely dress because the house bills are not paid;
- Leaving your family, immigrating, and doing menial jobs you were not willing to do in your home country.
Some people tend to make their partners feel guilty. Most of the time, we play the role of the victim because everything does not go our way. We blame our partner and say we wouldn’t have to do these things if it wasn’t for him.
It is stressful to play the victim to force the other party to give in to our demands. When you blame him for everything, the alarm of the end of the relationship will sound. Instead, think about the other side. He has sometimes had to give up some things for you. Being in a relationship means sharing good and bad things.
12. Silence and not arguing with your partner
It is natural to argue with the other party. You are two different people. Therefore, it is normal to have different opinions and ideas sometimes. However, some people avoid arguments for various reasons. In such a situation, instead of avoiding discussion or remaining silent in a statement with the other party, disagree with him. Both of you have something to say that the other person needs to hear.
Please don’t ignore what the other person says, especially about their feelings. By neglecting your partner’s feelings, you cause him to be unloving. If you are upset or angry about something, express it.
13. Not solving problems
Don’t let unresolved relationship problems become a habit. Sleeping next to each other without solving or discussing issues is a dilemma. By doing this, you start the days with negative energy.
Besides, one of you may never wake up the next day, and the last thing you said to each other was an uncomfortable word or even a painful silence. This view may be harmful, but the truth should not be denied. We live in a world where people die in their sleep. Imagine how devastating the painful memories of your last moments together would be.
So never postpone solving problems for later. Solve problems every night before going to bed. A good night suits both of you and can lead to a fresh tomorrow. If you start tomorrow right, you will succeed more in life and at work.
14. Not listening to your partner
Imagine your spouse asking you to take out the trash or grocery shopping, and you say “eye” without really paying attention. The result is that you do not do what he asked. This will damage the relationship in the long run.
A clear example of this problem occurs during an argument with a spouse. If you constantly interrupt him in debates and insist you are right, you haven’t listened to him. Continuing this procedure will destroy the relationship. So try to learn and practice listening skills. Doing this will improve your relationship with your spouse, and you will reach a mutual understanding.
15. Constant violations
Contrary to popular belief, only women are not capable of growling and nagging. Men, especially those who want to be in control all the time, nag too. If riding and finding fault with your spouse has become your habit, it is better to leave this bad habit forever because you are damaging your relationship.
There are other ways to make him do what you want. For example, if he comes home late, use positive and encouraging words instead of whining and saying how you missed precious time together. In this way, the probability that he will gradually leave his bad habits increases.
16. Skepticism and jealousy
You’ve probably read many articles about relationship warning signs and signs of partner infidelity—no wonder you are probably a skeptic. Whenever you see your partner having fun with his cell phone, you immediately think about the possibility of his cheating. When you see a lovely comment from the opposite sex on your spouse’s social media account, you immediately feel jealous and ask him to remove that person from his account.
People with these characteristics are intolerable. They usually ask for their spouse’s password on social networks, and if they face opposition, they assume that the other party is hiding something. This way of thinking is not correct. These thoughts show that you feel insecure about yourself and your relationship.
17. Recounting his past mistakes over and over again
Whenever there is an argument, you like to repeat the other person’s past mistakes. This is boring and unhealthy. You must forgive and forget mistakes. It’s not easy to forget people’s past mistakes, but if you keep repeating them, you’ll get nowhere.
If your spouse tries to correct mistakes and improve, you don’t stop telling them. Eventually, he will stop trying and repeat the same mistakes. The reason is that you don’t see his efforts. So let go of the past and think about the present.
you say
Self-destructive and relationship-damaging behaviors often stem from habits that are difficult to break. This becomes more complicated when you are not aware of your evil practices. So try to know these habits before blaming your wife and trying to leave them.
In this article, we have described 17 warning signs of relationship damage. What other ways do you think you can tell if a relationship is hurting?
