Sexual satisfaction in healthy relationships is the light of the house, Just as vital. However, sometimes work pressure and stress, sudden plans, challenging exams, or other similar issues make one of the two parties disinterested in sexual relations, which may be temporary or permanent. What should be done at times like this? How do we rekindle this suppressed desire and the fire under the ashes? In this article, we provide some practical solutions to this problem.
The importance of sex in married life
Intimacy is vital in all romantic relationships, and one of its external manifestations in marital relationships is healthy sex. This closeness reduces blood pressure and stress and improves the emotional bond between the couple by releasing the hormone oxytocin. On the other hand, its absence creates a deep gap between husband and wife, sometimes temporary and sometimes permanent. Therefore, such a problem is an alarm for the mental health of couples!
Reasons for spouses’ reluctance to have sex
A partner’s reluctance to have sex does not necessarily mean a lack of love and interest. Various factors affect sexual desire ( libido ), and identifying the reason for this reluctance is the first step to solving it. In this section, we have stated some common reasons for this reluctance.
1. Stress
Stressful jobs, approaching project deadlines, and the fast pace of life in general make people susceptible to stress and anxiety. When the brain is involved in such problems, sexual desire naturally fades.
2. taking medication
Sexual reluctance may be a side effect of antidepressants, birth control pills, and some prostate medications that your partner is taking.
3. Physical problems
Things like testosterone deficiency, high blood pressure, hypothyroidism, and diabetes may be involved in sexual reluctance.
4. giving birth
The effects of pregnancy and childbirth on the physical and mental health of couples are one of the most important reasons for sexual reluctance. Busy days after giving birth leave no time to think about flirting.
5. Betrayal
This reluctance may result from seeing your spouse betray you in a previous life and his inherent distrust. This bitter experience makes emotional and physical intimacy difficult for a long time.
6. erectile dysfunction
If your partner’s problem is erectile dysfunction, you’ve probably gone a long time without sex without knowing why. It is not easy for men to talk about this problem.
7. Experience of sexual abuse
Unpleasant memories associated with sex negatively affect people’s desire for all kinds of physical intimacy, even simple touching.
8. Financial Problems
Financial worries are incredibly stressful at different stages of life. When both parties spend all their time and energy to solve financial problems, it is natural that they do not have a chance for intimacy and closeness.
9. Pain during intercourse
Being in pain diminishes people’s desire for sex. The more this pain, the less and less sexual desire.
10. religious beliefs
Sometimes, spouses’ reluctance to have sex stems from religious beliefs and society’s beliefs and unconsciously forces them to stay away from each other.
11. depression
Depression may disrupt the balance of sex hormones and reduce libido to zero.
12. habit
After years of living together and getting used to each other’s presence, it is natural that the passion of the first days fades, and the relationship becomes boring.
How to deal with a wife unwilling to have sex
When your partner doesn’t want to be physically intimate, the worst possible reaction is to withdraw and get used to it. In the following, we present some practical solutions to solve this problem.
1. Enhance non-sexual intimacy
Intimacy in married life does not only mean a sexual relationship; other forms of it strengthen the bond between the couple so that their desire to be with each other increases bit by bit. Start with simple and attractive gestures like hugging your partner and showing your love in different ways. Hold hands, watch a movie together, ride a bike, and watch the sunset. Make time for each other and enjoy being together. As soon as love is rekindled, the desire for sexual intimacy creeps into the relationship.
2. talking
Talking is the only practical solution to relationship problems. Having an honest conversation about your needs and concerns and directly pointing out the issues that bother you will take a few steps toward solving the problem.
Be honest about what you want and don’t want, and accept each other’s preferences. Your concerns are not supposed to turn into blame and suppression. Remember that blaming has no result except to create tension and further distance from your spouse. Therefore, enter through compromise and carry on the discussion with sincerity.
The worst place to talk about this is in your bedroom. Choose a neutral space that has nothing to do with sex and is not intrusive at the same time.
3. Get help from a professional advisor
Sometimes, talking doesn’t heal any pain. If you can’t deal with your worries alone, seeing a professional therapist is a wise choice to get to the root of the problem.
4. Redefining intimacy
Just being in a relationship does not mean being satisfied with it. Talk to find out when your partner is not interested in sex and increase the satisfaction of the relationship by accepting it. Sometimes, the problem is that your partner’s definition of intimacy differs from yours. This means the situation that bothers you is natural and suitable for him. So talk about your expectations of intimacy, but don’t pressure your partner to have a relationship.
5. Maintain respect
Respect is vital in any relationship and should be on both sides. For whatever reason, your partner is struggling with sexual reluctance, be there for them and listen carefully when discussing the issues to find out where the root of the problem lies.
The last word
It is not possible to solve sexual problems with one discussion and protest. Instead of asking and begging every time, successive talks, and finally withdrawing from each other, patiently take time and ask the therapist for help to find the root of the problem and solve it without harming your self-esteem.
The solutions in this article can significantly solve the problem of lack of intimacy in married life. Share other solutions with us and our companions in the comments section if you know other solutions.
