Ever feel like you’re drowning in the maze of your romantic fantasy? Or have you seen couples whose relationship has gone beyond love and become obsessed? Obsessive love is a dangerous disorder that we must take seriously. This article analyzes this type of love and reviews its symptoms and treatment methods. Stay with us.
What is obsessive love?
Love is a familiar feeling for all of us. We love and adore our family, friends, and pets. Obsessive love happens when we love someone too much and want to control them.
Obsessive love is a condition in which a person experiences extremely obsessive feelings and confuses these feelings with love. Compulsive love disorder is not a type of mental illness. Still, it is a complex situation in life that, if not treated, disrupts a person’s daily functioning and darkens the relationship between the two parties.
Obsessive love is a relationship style that is associated with unhealthy obsessions. These obsessions may be romantic or sexual, or they may be aimed at controlling the other party. In some extreme cases, obsessive love is accompanied by control, threats, and insults.
According to research, women are more likely to develop obsessive love disorder than men. At the beginning of the relationship, sufferers of this disorder confuse it with dependence and interest. Still, with time, the intensity of obsessive behaviors increases, and the interest becomes one-sided.
Signs of obsessive love
Obsessive love disorder is not a mental illness, but it has specific symptoms that help you identify obsessions in romantic relationships. People with this disorder have low self-esteem and want to control their lover’s actions and behavior all the time. Constant feeling of fear and insecurity is the most critical sign of obsessive love. However, experts say that these symptoms vary from person to person. In the following, we review the common symptoms of obsessive love.
1. Falling in love quickly and intensely
Obsessed with love often fall in love with someone they don’t know well. The emergence of sudden and strong emotions is a severe alarm, especially when the person also has a history of obsessive and abusive behavior. Usually, the affected person’s feelings are not mutual, and his lover does not feel such love, but this matter is not essential for the affected person, and he still loves the other party very much.
2. Constantly thinking about someone
Obsessions are behaviors that are created in the mind. When an obsessive person focuses all his attention and thoughts on one subject, the desire for compulsive behavior increases. Obsessive love sufferers have constant sexual and romantic fantasies. They sometimes think that their lover wants to cheat on them. These fantasies reinforce their feelings of fear, anger, and despair. A person who is in an obsessive love relationship cannot focus on anything else, and their mind is always occupied with fantasies.
3. A strong sense of passion and attachment
Obsessive love usually has streaks of intense passion. Obsessive lovers need their partner to validate them all the time. He always wants to be close to his lover and loved. If such conditions are not provided, he gets involved with his mental scenarios and has a strong desire that his soul and body are always with the other party.
4. Ignoring tasks and relationships
The obsessive nature of the person’s desires causes him to withdraw from other relationships and fail to fulfill his responsibilities. Obsession hurts a person’s ability and disrupts his daily life. For this reason, those suffering from obsessive love have many problems at work, family relationships, and personal life.
5. Feeling of ownership and jealousy
A person suffering from obsessive love disorder constantly feels threatened. She thinks anyone who gets close to her lover is a potential danger. They are jealous of their lover’s family, friends, and colleagues and expect their emotional partner to always be in possession and by their side. These jealous behaviors change over time and become verbal and behavioral insults.
6. Violation of the other party’s privacy
Fear and jealousy are two primary factors in obsessive love. The infected person must check his partner’s messages and calls, search his bag and things, and even follow him. The combination of jealous delusions with obsessive fantasies is hazardous, as it provokes the sufferer to behave violently and abusively, even leading to rape.
7. Delusional beliefs about relationships
Delusions and hallucinations sometimes accompany obsessive love disorder. Delusions are beliefs that are not true, but a person firmly believes in them. Some sufferers of obsessive love suffer from narcissism; that is, they think that a famous person is in love with them and has a relationship with them. In milder cases, the person does not believe that the other party does not love him and does not accept the lover’s rejection.
8. Extreme control
If those suffering from obsessive love enter into a relationship with someone, they soon become intimate with him and feel strongly dependent. Their emotional partner may feel suffocated and complain about their behavior. Still, the affected person does not accept this complaint because he believes he must control the other party’s behavior and keep him by his side because of his interest.
9. Persistent fantasy
People with obsessive love create elaborate scenarios in their minds. They rehearse the scenarios many times and give the stories a try. These fantasies may be sexual, romantic, or competitive. Frequent imaginings reinforce obsessive feelings so much that the person may not even recognize the border between imagination and reality.
10. Refuse to accept a negative answer
An obsessive lover cannot tolerate rejection. He wants to always be with his lover. For this reason, when the other party asks him to respect his personal space and safe boundaries, the affected person gets upset and refuses to accept this. In some cases, it may even be hostile and dangerous.
Diagnosis of obsessive love disorder
There are no specific criteria for diagnosing obsessive love disorder. However, if you see the symptoms of this disease in yourself or those around you, you should see a doctor. The specialist doctor first conducts several tests and interviews to rule out the possibility of other disorders.
Experts say that obsessive love disorder is usually a symptom of some mental illness. If it is not a symptom of another disease, it will be difficult to diagnose and treat it. Some researchers say that obsessive love disorder should be considered a type of mental illness. Still, another group disagrees with it and believes that this disorder is not an independent disease.
Causes of obsessive love disorder
Obsessive love disorder is not a mental health illness. For this reason, it is difficult to identify a cause for its development. Researchers have not found any specific reason for the development of this disorder, but they believe that several factors together increase the possibility of developing obsessive love.
Mental illnesses such as borderline personality disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and psychosis with jealous and sensual delusions increase the probability of getting infected. In the following, we review the possible causes of obsessive love disorder.
1. Insecure attachment
When a person cannot have a healthy attachment to other people, they feel strongly dependent. This feeling increases the person’s anxiety and provokes jealousy and control. This behavior is a futile attempt to avoid betrayal and abandonment. People with insecure attachment are more prone to obsessive love.
2. Childhood trauma
Our childhood memories and experiences may have irreparable effects on our future. Children who are victims of physical abuse carry the pain of that incident with them into adulthood. They may enter into unhealthy behavior patterns and relationships because their subconscious has seen and learned this style of relationships in childhood. Obsessive-compulsive disorder is common in those with childhood trauma.
3. low self-esteem
Most people who become obsessed with love struggle with deep insecurities and low self-esteem. This constant conflict makes them vulnerable to a wide range of problems. Simple events affect their minds, and they have an extreme need for someone to love them. For this reason, they fall into obsessive love to deal with their fear of abandonment.
4. Obsessive-compulsive disorder
People with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) are prone to obsessive thoughts in all aspects of their lives. Their obsession revolves around a person or relationship. They have many compulsive behaviors and limit their emotional partner with these behaviors. These people need to be controlled, and the possibility of obsessive love is also high in this group.
5. Jealous delusions
People with psychosis have various delusions. These patients are susceptible to obsessive love. If they are obsessed with someone, they become skeptical, pessimistic, and jealous. Jealous delusions are dangerous and may be accompanied by many inappropriate behaviors. Sufferers of jealous delusions may pursue and threaten their lover and even abuse him with violence.
6. Borderline personality disorder
One potential cause of obsessive love is borderline personality disorder. Patients with this disease have an intense fear of being abandoned. They influence their relationships and others; they try to know your behavior patterns and control you based on them. These behaviors can be hazardous.
Treatment of obsessive love disorder
Obsessive love disorder is often treatable, but treatment depends on underlying problems and other mental illnesses. If this disorder is a symptom of another disease, the doctor must first treat the primary disease. In cases where obsessive love is unrelated to any other disease, the doctor will prepare a treatment plan for the patient. This treatment may be drug therapy, psychotherapy, or both.
In the process of psychotherapy, the therapist first tries to find the root cause of the obsession. The roots of the obsession may be hidden in an insecure relationship in the person’s past. The therapist helps the patient identify their obsessive thoughts and behaviors. He teaches the sufferer techniques to overcome their obsession.
Facing obsessive love
If you think you have the symptoms of obsessive love, it is better to see a psychiatrist or psychotherapist as soon as possible. Specific coping skills and strategies can help you recognize your behaviors and reduce symptoms.
Experts say that people with obsessive-compulsive disorder should go out more and do things alone. This causes a person to distance himself from his emotional partner healthily. In addition, by focusing on different tasks, obsessive thoughts will come to you less.
It would be best if you tried to control your inner emotions. Mindfulness exercises and meditation help you focus on the present moment instead of getting lost in toxic thoughts.
Pay attention to the boundaries of your relationship. Boundaries are the relationship rules that determine what actions are right and behaviors are wrong. Talk to your partner about your boundaries and try to stick to them.
Spend time with your friends and family. Do not focus your relationships on one person. Connecting deeply with other friends and family creates a robust support system that you can rely on to get away from obsessive thoughts.
last word
Obsessive love is a disorder that causes a person to have extreme romantic feelings. He needs to control his lover and supervise his actions. This disorder is not an independent disease, but it may be a symptom of mental illness. If you see its symptoms in yourself and those around you, you should see a doctor to set up a specific treatment plan to get you away from the vortex of these poisonous thoughts.
If this article was helpful, share it with your friends and write us your opinion.
Warning! This article is only for educational purposes;d to use it, it is necessary to consult a doctor or specialist.
