According to research, adults lie 1 to 5 times a day! Almost no one in the world has lied during his life, but this does not mean that lying is the right thing to do and should not be abandoned. Lying increases negative energy and harms your mental health. For this reason, you should know the treatment methods for lying and leave this destructive habit faster. In this article, we will learn how not to lie.
All kinds of lies
Different types of lies are told for various reasons. Sometimes, the lies are minor; for example, you may not like your friend’s new dress but compliment her on her dress to make her happy. These types of lies are called white lies or expedient lies. White lies are told to maintain social relationships, prevent hurting other people’s feelings or out of love, and are forgivable to some extent.
Gray lies are told to hide the truth when necessary. These lies are prevalent in the business world. For example, you may declare the price of the product you bought higher than its actual price or display the product you have in stock as non-existent. These lies are entirely contrary to the truth.
Why do we lie?
There are various reasons for lying; some are forgivable, and some are unforgivable. Let’s explore why we lie and list some of our reasons.
- They are protecting the feelings of the other party.
- They are lying is caused by emotions such as anger, jealousy, sadness st, pressure, and anxiety.
- Staying in the safe zone and away from possible risks.
- We are achieving personal gain even at the expense of another.
- Make yourself look better.
- She is controlling others.
- They cover up mistakes and prevent punishment.
- They are hiding true feelings about events.
If your lying continues for a long time, it becomes a repetitive pattern and a habit. This compulsive and pathological lying needs treatment. The possibility of pathological lying is more in people whose people around them are not honest and carry out their work with deception.
Am I a liar?
Lying can negatively affect your relationships and mental health, and it can disrupt your daily life before it can harm others. When you lie a lot, it becomes difficult for you to trust others. Also, when the other person discovers your lies, your relationship worsens, and you lose the people you love.
If you have the following symptoms, you are used to lying and should take serious action to treat it.
- You lie without a valid reason and in unnecessary situations.
- You always justify your lies and do not accept that lying is wrong. For example, you believe that to protect the people you love, you must hide the truth from them.
- You make up stories about people and events to hide what happened.
- Your lies have been exposed many times, and others have outright told you you are lying.
- People around you don’t believe your words anymore.
- You feel like no one knows the real you.
- You have lost essential opportunities such as relationships or your job because of lying.
Why should we not lie?
According to research, liars are less happy! Also, by examining some students, it was found that there is a direct relationship between daily lying and poor academic performance, lack of self-esteem, and low quality of life. Of course, we have other reasons to justify why you should not lie to yourself and others:
- It is easier to tell the truth. When you lie, you have to remember your lies so that your lies are not revealed later, but the fact remains in your mind without any effort. When you lie, you must cover your tracks with more lies and keep making things worse!
- When your lies are exposed, they ruin everything. Revealing a lie will damage you and your loved ones and the trust in the relationship. You have to work for a long time to compensate for these damages, which are sometimes irreparable.
- Maybe the truth is not as scary as you think! If you lie because you fear the truth, try being honest. Perhaps listeners will not only react negatively but thank you for your honesty.
Eight ways to treat lying
If you’re used to lying, you can’t wake up tomorrow morning and stop lying! Treating lying is not easy; you must learn it with patience and practice. It is necessary to replace the destructive habit of lying with healthier habits. In the following, we present methods for treating lying in adults, with the help of which you can curb this destructive habit.
1. Take responsibility for your lies
Before anyone else, you must be honest with yourself. Whenever you lie, be honest with yourself, regardless of whether others notice your lie. Examine why you lied and what would have happened if you had told the truth. Understand emotions like regret and guilt. You can even enlist the help of a trusted friend to take responsibility for your lies. Ask him to remind you privately whenever he notices you lying.
2. Start small
Instead of deciding not to tell any lies from tomorrow, start your work with one less lie a day. Once you realize you are lying, stop yourself and tell the truth. Start small and gradually set bigger goals to be more honest.
3. Control your stress
Sometimes, you lie just out of anxiety, and you don’t even realize it. Lying relieves the stress of anxiety, but it does other harm. So, control your anxiety with stress management techniques like Law 333 to manage anxiety. When you are not anxious, you own your mind and can more easily avoid lying.
4. Think about the short-term and long-term effects of lies
Any lie may have a positive achievement for you in the moment. For example, when you oversleep and arrive late at work, if you are honest, your boss will probably reprimand you, but if you say your child is sick, he will give you the right, and you can get to work without reprimand. But if your child gets one day, will the boss still believe you? Lying harms your credibility and causes others to lose their trust. So be careful what you pay such a high price for!
5. Prioritize your values
How many deep and sincere relationships have been destroyed because of a lie? Liars lie even to the dearest people in their lives. If you are also used to doing this, the next time you want to lie to your loved one, think about which is more critical: the momentary achievement of the lie or the depth of the relationship and trust of the person you love.
6. Write the truth
Sometimes, looking others in the eye and telling the truth is difficult. In such cases, you can write what you need to tell the truth to the other party. Send your writing to the other person in a letter, email, or text, and let them know it’s easier for you than talking face-to-face.
7. Pay attention to the feelings of others
Before you lie, think about how the other person will feel if they discover your lie. Imagining the other person’s bad feelings is a way to treat lying. You won’t even tell a white lie when you put yourself in the other person’s place! Instead, if you have an opposing opinion, you try to express your opinion gently and without offending the other party.
8. You don’t need to talk about everything
The meaning of this lying treatment method is not concealment; It means not talking about what is bothering you. For example, when someone asks about your private matters, instead of lying, you can clearly state that you do not want to talk about this personal matter. By doing this, you will neither lie nor suffer. You can change the subject instead of discussing what’s bothering you so you don’t want to lie.
If lying treatment methods don’t work, how can we not lie?
In the previous part, we introduced solutions to treat lying in adults, but if these methods do not work for you, you should go for the root treatment of lying and seek help from professional therapists. An experienced therapist examines the root cause of your problem and, by evaluating your past, finds out when and why you started lying. Then, he takes the necessary measures to dry the root of your lying.
For example, lack of self-esteem may be one of the reasons for lying. A person who lacks self-esteem since childhood tries to make himself attractive and lovable by lying. Little by little, he gets used to lying to make himself look good and continues this behavior even in his older age.
Final word: Honesty is a choice
Treating lying is neither easy nor impossible. Some people tell themselves they are used to lying and cannot help being a liar; Even this thought is a lie they tell themselves! You may fail over and over again on the path to lie therapy, but don’t get discouraged and start over. Over time, you’ll notice how much more relaxed you are with honesty and how much deeper relationships you’ve been able to experience. Experiencing these beautiful feelings will help you lie less daily and finally leave this habit forever.
If you have an experience with leaving a lie or have a question, leave us a message in the comments section.
Warning! This article is only for educational purposes; to use it, it is necessary to consult a doctor or specialist.
