We, humans, are not very used to talking about our feelings. Our conversations are focused on what we are doing, and most of our sentences start with “I think” rather than “I feel.” We learn to think right, but we hear less about feeling right, and we learn ways to manage our emotions by watching the behavior of those around us. Therefore, if we have not learned the correct emotional patterns from those around us, we probably do not have the power to recognize our feelings, and we do not know many critical dynamic concepts, or we are wrong about them! In the following, we review examples of the most common misconceptions about emotions.
1. This feeling of mine is not correct, and I have to change it
One of the biggest mistakes we make about our feelings is the desire to change them. We’ve all said, “I shouldn’t be upset about such a small thing,” or “I should be so much happier.” While no rules exist for validating or denying our momentary feelings, our emotional reactions are never wrong. Accept it and let it slowly change instead of spending all your time and energy fighting your feeling.
2. I can’t control my emotions
Not labeling our feelings as wrong does not mean being trapped in the bonds of feelings. Unfortunately, many think we have no control over our emotions when our power is much greater than our heart’s feelings. Even if we cannot eliminate it, we can influence it to a great extent by changing the way we think and behave and the following tricks.
- Changing the way of thinking or thinking style;
- Practicing an attitude of gratitude ;
- Focus on happy things;
- Compassion and self-care.
3. Just venting makes me feel better
Many mistakenly think that if we don’t express our bad mood, it will destroy and disintegrate us like a deadly poison. Or we believe that the result of controlling our emotions is robot-like behavior. While not talking about feelings does not necessarily mean suppressing or accumulating them. If you think holding back your feelings makes you look cold and unfeeling, you’re wrong. Incidentally, the fact that you look at your emotions with a realistic perspective indicates your ability to experience various emotions.
Expressing feelings by punching the pillow or calling the people around you and hurting them in most cases not only does not make anyone feel better but also causes aggravation and strengthens feelings of anger, worry, anger or frustration. Whenever you feel the need to share your good or bad mood with the world, ask yourself these few questions:
- Is this my only option?
- Is there anything else that makes me feel better?
- What are the consequences of expressing my feelings?
Walking and eating fresh air, meditation, writing, and talking with a trusted loved one are better ways to help you feel better.
4. People change my mood easily
- My boss makes my blood boil;
- My colleague makes me feel bad about myself;
- I am always depressed and sad after talking to that friend.
How many times have you been behind these common phrases?
In reality, no one and nothing has the power to change your feelings! It may affect your mood, but in the end, you are the one who is fully responsible for your senses.
5. I don’t have the strength to control my sadness
Another common mistake we make about our feelings is that we think we don’t have the power to control unpleasant feelings, and as a result, we prefer to escape instead of dating; Escape from all difficult situations that lead to success. Avoided grief lingers in the mind and leads to more suffering. For example, a person constantly dealing with anxiety misses opportunities for progress and advancement, or someone who avoids confrontation cannot solve his problems with the people around him. Instead of facing the problem, these people try to escape the burden of grief by overworking, eating too much or too little, using drugs, or roaming on social networks.
Knowing how to deal with uncomfortable feelings also boosts self-confidence. You realize your resilience under challenging situations when you don’t let your emotions rule your behavior.
6. Positive emotions are good and negative feelings are bad
Man naturally appreciates happiness and good mood and avoids terrible feelings. However, we sometimes experience disappointment, anger, sadness, and guilt, and each plays a significant role in our lives. The states that we have repressed throughout our lives as negative emotions teach us valuable lessons about ourselves and direct our focus to areas of our lives that need more care and attention.
Remember that emotions are not positive or negative by themselves; What we do in response to these feelings determines whether they are good or bad. For example, anger usually leads to terrible actions and choices. But without this anger, many positive changes in the world would never have happened.
7. Expressing feelings is a sign of weakness
This is our most dangerous misconception about emotions, which fills us with shame, doesn’t allow us to talk and ask for sympathy, and teaches us from childhood to deny most of our feelings. Depending on the messages we receive from childhood about age, gender, cultural identity, family roles, careers, and the like, some of us carry this false belief with us for years.
Although it is a social skill to hold back your emotions and behave professionally when uncomfortable feelings are on the rise, letting go of your defensive shield and expressing what’s on your mind at the right time is not necessarily a sign of weakness. You can even consider being aware of your feelings and making a conscious decision to share them with others as a sign of strength because the first condition for talking about your feelings with others is true courage and strength. According to the researchers, the ability to recognize expressible emotions and express them is a kind of intelligence and a precursor to success!
8. An emotional person cannot be rational
- He is too dynamic to lead.
- We are looking for someone who is less emotional and more logical.
- I’m so upset I don’t even know what to think.
We have all said and heard these words many times and allowed this false belief to undermine our ability to trust others.
This wrong belief shows the conflict between thoughts and feelings. He says that people either feel or think, and no one can be emotional and rational simultaneously. While freeing people to experience diverse emotions is a way to support emotional health and strengthen decision-making power. Interestingly, decisions based on emotions and logic are often the most accurate and correct.
9. Everything I feel is true
Our feelings are often invalid and based solely on our interpretation of events. In other words, the fact that we feel something does not mean it is accurate, and we must seek validation of our feelings. Sometimes emotional people create an identity for themselves from their moods and emotions or consider their emotionality their distinguishing feature, which is wrong. A man’s character can never be based on his ever-changing emotions.
10. To be creative, I have to be emotional
Strong emotions can inspire creative works of art, but discipline, essential for success in art projects, can only be achieved by combining emotions and logic. Without the logical part of the mind, although they fuel creativity, feelings do not lead anywhere. It is impossible to complete our music, painting, or short story only with the help of our senses.
last word
As long as we are not used to understanding our emotions, it is complicated for us to distinguish whether they are right or wrong. But just like any other life skill, we can gradually strengthen this power with lots of practice. Remember that self-awareness, which is the key to success in personal and professional life, helps us recognize and regulate the right emotions.
What beliefs do you have about wrong emotions and far from logic? Please share them with us in the comments section.
