Friendship should be a source of joy and support. A good friend will lift you from despair, encourage you to achieve your goals, and make you progress. According to research, creating a “healthy friendship environment” is very important for maintaining good mental health. This is when a toxic (or toxic) friend causes profound damage to your self-esteem and mental health. With these interpretations, identifying and ending toxic friendships are essential to taking better care of yourself. In this article, we talk about the signs of a toxic friend and how to deal with him. Stay with us.
Signs of a toxic friend
1. Constant negativity
- pessimism;
- dramatic behaviors;
- Endless complaints.
2. Weak support
- Reluctance to celebrate your successes;
- not accompanying in challenging situations;
- Downplaying your achievements or ignoring your goals.
3. Jealousy
- Disparaging comments about your achievements;
- Showing anger or jealousy in the face of your successes and joys.
4. control
- attempt to control your decisions;
- Pressuring or persuading you to do things against your will.
5. Misplaced criticism
- Harassing criticisms without real support;
- Downplaying your choices or accomplishments.
6. Double standards
- encouraging you to impossible expectations;
- Making excuses for his bad behavior and judging your behavior.
7. Rudeness and unreliability
- canceling plans at the last minute;
- Ignoring your time and plans;
- Forgetting important events related to you.
8. Betrayal
- destroy your trust;
- gossiping and talking behind your back ;
- Sharing your personal information with others.
9. one-way relationship
- Not being available when needed;
- I am looking forward to your continued support.
The root of toxic friend behavior
Although you shouldn’t tolerate toxic behavior long-term and end the poisonous friendship as soon as possible, it can be beneficial to consider the factors that influence the behavior of a toxic friend.
If your friend’s toxic and misbehavior is new and hasn’t been there before, check in on them; they may be going through a difficult time in their life. Stressors such as grief, job loss, or mental health problems may have a temporary negative impact on relationships.
In addition, suffering from certain disorders such as ADHD or trauma may also affect his emotional regulation and impulsivity. Although examining the root causes of a toxic friend’s misbehavior does not justify the damage done, it may provide a basis for better assessing the situation and implementing positive changes.
The importance of charting a path in dealing with a toxic friend
The most important thing to remember is that you cannot change your toxic friend. Even positive behaviors such as attention, care, and empathy are ineffective in correcting this person’s poisonous behaviors. Examine the emotional damage of maintaining a friendship and its harmful effects on your health, and consider changing for your peace of mind. In this situation, you have two options:
- It is communicating and applying boundaries to minimize contact with this person. Take practical steps to resolve the issues that cause this unhealthy dynamic. You may find it better to limit this communication and interact less with this person.
- You are ending a friendship. If you have concluded that your friendship is doing more harm than good, ending it as soon as possible is better.
How do you deal with a toxic friend?
If you have decided to fix or repair your relationship with a toxic friend, you need to learn how to communicate and apply boundaries in different situations.
1. How to communicate effectively with a toxic friend
Effective communication with a toxic friend may bring positive changes and save your friendship. To communicate effectively with this person, you must express your needs and expectations in a positive, clear, direct, and constructive tone. Start by highlighting specific behaviors that are causing you distress. For example, gently talk about your desire for positive and uplifting conversations if this person’s constant negativity bothers you.
Express your feelings and concerns using sentences starting with “I” without blaming or blaming. For example, instead of saying, “You make me feel bad about this friendship,” say, “I need a supportive friend.”
2. How to set clear boundaries with a toxic friend
Express your red lines and boundaries clearly. Expressing personal boundaries and expectations will make you feel more valued and benefit from a safe and loving friendship. Express the qualities and behaviors you expect from your close friend. For example, if your friend constantly criticizes you, warn him you cannot tolerate such behavior. Use sentences starting with “I” to express your feelings without blaming him.
Speaking clearly: For example, instead of saying something vague like, “Please behave better,” say, “I avoid destructive conversations; please don’t use insulting words when talking to me.”
Warn him of the consequences of violating your boundaries. For example, if your friend always arrives later than the scheduled time, tell him, “If you are late again and make me wait this long, I will not go out with you again.”
3. How to limit contact with a toxic friend and distance yourself from him
If you find it difficult to tolerate the annoying behavior of a toxic friend, the best solution is to distance yourself from him. The steps to distance yourself from a toxic friend are:
- Gradually reduce communication with this person through calls, text messages, and face-to-face meetings;
- Explain to him the reason for distancing and your need for private space;
- Make self-care a priority and improve your mental health by taking adequate measures.
Never beat yourself up for breaking away from a toxic friend. It’s not about abandoning your friend, it’s about prioritizing and maintaining your own mental health.
How do you end a relationship with a toxic friend?
If setting boundaries doesn’t work and you’re still bothered by the toxic friend’s behavior, ending the friendship is the best option. Sometimes, we must accept that not all friendships will last, and it is in our best interest to get out of a toxic friendship as soon as possible. Express your decision respectfully. You can say, “Our friendship hurts me more than it makes me happy, so we better end it.” There is no need to give any additional explanation.
The importance of self-care after ending a toxic friendship
It’s normal to feel sad after a toxic friendship ends, even if you know it was your best decision. Now is the time to put yourself first and meet your needs. Prioritizing mental, emotional, and physical health includes planning activities that make you feel good. Design a self-care program for yourself to restore your depleted energy.
friendship health test
Answer the following questions honestly and based on your inner feelings.
1. How do you feel after spending time with your friend?
- a. energetic and happy;
- b. normal and neutral;
- J. Tired and tired;
- d. Anxious and stressed.
2. How often does your friend judge or criticize you?
- a. Never;
- b. Sometimes, but usually with good intentions;
- J. often;
- d. I keep doubting myself.
3. Does your friend respect your boundaries?
- a. totally;
- b. Sometimes, he ignores my boundaries but then apologizes;
- J. very little;
- d. Without pangs of conscience, he constantly ignores my boundaries.
4. Does your friend force you to do things against your will?
- a. Never, he understands my limitations and respects my choices;
- b. rarely;
- c sometimes;
- of the. most of the time
5. Do you trust your friend?
- a. Yes, exactly;
- b. to some extent;
- J. very little;
- of the. no
6. Does your friend share your secrets with others?
- a. not at all;
- b. He may have done it once or twice but apologized and promised not to repeat it.
- J. sometimes, and this makes me anxious when talking to him;
- d. Most of the time, I don’t trust him anymore.
7. Does your friend support you?
- a. Yes. My friend is my biggest supporter;
- b. most of the time;
- J. His support is conditional;
- d. I rarely get real support from him.
8. Is your friendship mutual?
- A. Yes, exactly;
- b. most of the time;
- J. I feel that most of me is trying to survive our relationship;
- d. My friend abuses me, and I rarely feel reciprocated.
9. Is your friend happy to see your successes and achievements?
- a. Yes! He is one of my biggest motivations;
- b. He is happy about my successes, but sometimes he hesitates with negative thoughts;
- J. He may acknowledge my success but usually downplays it;
- d. He seems jealous of my achievements as he often makes fun of my accomplishments.
Results
- If your answer to all questions is option A, you have a good and supportive friendship. Continue the relationship with him and enjoy this positive interaction.
- If most of the answers are A and some B and C, it means that there are minor problems in your relationship that you can solve by setting boundaries.
- If most answers are C and D, you should watch for warning signs! Assess the impact of the relationship with this friend on your health and talk to a trusted friend or therapist for guidance on whether or not to continue the relationship.
- If your answer to all the questions is the last option, you are trapped in a toxic friendship and should get away from him as soon as possible.
final word
If you’re worried about your friendship, it’s best to talk to someone you trust or seek professional help. You deserve to be in healthy and supportive relationships.
Have you ever had a toxic friend? How did you treat him, and what resulted from your relationship? Please share your valuable comments and experiences with us and our dear users.
